Coming Home to Ourselves: Why Women Gathering Matters

There was a time not so long ago in the span of human history when women gathered as a matter of survival.

Before group chats and Google calendars.
Before individualised nuclear homes and fenced backyards.
Before productivity became the measure of worth.

Women gathered around fires.
At rivers.
In kitchens.
In birthing huts.
In fields.

They gathered to prepare food, to nurse babies, to grieve losses, to mark rites of passage, to tell stories, to share wisdom.

Connection was not optional. It was essential.

A Brief History of Belonging

Anthropologically, humans are wired for tribe. For most of our existence, we lived in small, interdependent communities. Survival depended on cooperation shared labour, shared childcare, shared protection. Women’s circles weren’t a “wellness offering.” They were infrastructure.

When someone was grieving, she wasn’t alone in her house scrolling. She was held.
When someone gave birth, she was surrounded by experienced hands.
When food was scarce, it was shared.

Food. Water. Shelter. Connection.

These are not luxuries. They are biological needs.

Modern neuroscience now confirms what our ancestors knew instinctively: social connection regulates the nervous system. It reduces stress hormones. It increases oxytocin. It improves immune function. Chronic isolation, on the other hand, is associated with anxiety, depression, inflammation, and even shortened lifespan.

Yet in modern Western life, we have quietly lost the scaffolding of community.

We live close to one another physically, but often far apart emotionally.

The Myth of “I Should Be Able to Do This Alone”

Today’s woman is often praised for independence.
She manages careers. Families. Relationships. Fitness. Finances. She is competent. Capable. High-functioning.

But underneath that capability is often quiet loneliness.

Many of the women I sit with in therapy rooms, on retreat mats, in mindful movement sessions, in circles carry the same unspoken belief:

I should be able to handle this.
I don’t want to be a burden.
Everyone else seems to be coping.

Isolation has become normalised.

And yet, our nervous systems still long for tribe.

We cannot “self-care” our way out of disconnection.

Why Food, Water, Shelter and Connection Matter

In much of my work, whether through through therapy sessions, Eat Breathe Thrive, retreats, or through mindful movement, I often return to something very simple:

Our bodies require nourishment.
Our bodies require safety.
Our bodies require belonging.

Food, water, shelter and connection.

When connection is missing, something in us contracts. We may become more anxious. More self-critical. More perfectionistic. More disconnected from our own needs.

It’s not because we are weak.
It’s because we are wired for relationship.

Women gathering is not a trend it is ancient, instinctive, and quietly reparative. It isn’t something we invented because it looks beautiful on Instagram. It’s something our bodies recognise. When women sit together without performance, without rushing there is often a softening. Shoulders drop. Breath deepens. The nervous system realises it is not alone.

And women gathering is not about fixing each other it is about not having to carry everything alone. It’s not advice-giving or problem-solving. It’s presence. It’s the quiet strength of sitting beside someone who is navigating something tender and simply saying, “I’m here.”

In a world that asks women to hold so much families, careers, expectations, emotions circle becomes a place where we can set some of that down. Not forever. But long enough to remember that we were never meant to do this in isolation.

The Power of Raw, Authentic Conversation

When women sit in circle and speak honestly not curated, not filtered, not polished something extraordinary happens.

Shame softens.

The nervous system settles when we realise:
“Oh. It’s not just me.”

In circle, we witness each other’s:

• Motherhood fatigue

• Body image struggles

• Relationship doubts

• Career crossroads

• Grief

• Joy

• Desire

• Fear

And as we listen, we often recognise ourselves.

Authentic sharing dismantles the illusion of isolation.

There is a profound difference between being around people and being seen by people.

Circle creates space for being seen.

Coming Home to Ourselves First

Here is the paradox:

To truly connect with others, we must first begin to come home to ourselves.

If we are disconnected from our own bodies, our own truth, our own needs connection can feel unsafe.

So gathering is not just about talking.
It is about softening.
Slowing.
Listening inward.

When women gather intentionally whether through yoga, meditation, journalling, shared ritual, or simply sitting in stillness we create conditions for remembering who we are beneath roles and responsibilities.

We begin to ask:

• What do I need?

• What am I carrying?

• Where am I over-functioning?

• Where am I longing for support?

As we return to ourselves, connection becomes less performative and more honest.

We do not connect through perfection.
We connect through humanity.

Why This Matters Now

We are living in a time of extraordinary technological connection and unprecedented emotional disconnection.

We can message instantly, but rarely sit eye-to-eye.
We can “like” a post, but not always hold a hand.
We can curate an identity, but struggle to reveal vulnerability.

Women’s circles, retreats, embodied gatherings — these are not nostalgic luxuries. They are medicine.

They offer:

• Regulated nervous systems

• Co-regulation through presence

• Shared laughter

• Collective tears

• A sense of “I am not alone”

And in that remembering, something ancient in us exhales.

You Do Not Have to Do Life in Isolation

One of the most powerful truths I witness again and again:

When one woman speaks honestly, another finds courage.

And slowly, the mask comes down.

Connection does not mean oversharing.
It does not mean fixing one another.
It does not mean giving advice.

It means sitting beside someone and saying:

“I see you.”
“Me too.”
“We can hold this together.”

We were never designed to navigate birth, heartbreak, parenting, career shifts, aging, illness, or recovery alone.

The invitation is not dependency.
It is interdependence.

A Return to Belonging

Perhaps women gathering is less about creating something new and more about remembering something old.

A return to fire circles.
To shared meals.
To storytelling.
To witnessing.

A return to the truth that:

We need nourishment.
We need safety.
We need belonging.

And when we allow ourselves to come home to our breath, our bodies, our truth we create the capacity to meet one another authentically.

From that place, connection is not draining.

It is life-giving.

And maybe, just maybe, the most radical thing we can do in a culture of hyper-independence is to sit in circle and say:

“I don’t want to do this alone.”

Because we don’t have to.

And we never did.

Thank you for being part of this community. Together, we can navigate the stepping stones of life with compassion and curiosity.

With gratitude,
Hayley Guinness

Founder, Stepping Stones Yoga & Therapy